Ensign aaah New and interesting things in a very long story include but are not limited to:

  1. Ensign not only had to find his good friend/former employee/cuckold Doug Hampton gainful employment with political handler Little Mikey Slanker, Ensign then had to put out and line up corporate clients to justify Hampton’s job as a lobbyist, and basically hold Hampton’s hand as he went a-lobbying. Which was probably illegal. As Ensign knew. But he didn’t care. Because that’s how he is.
  2. Everybody is always screwing everybody else in Washington anyway so nobody gave it a second thought when the Hairdo showed up all over town with Cynthia Hampton on his arm.
  3. While in Iraq, the ‘Do called Cynthia Hampton — code-named “Aunt Judy” — all the time to talk about how he was going to use her for his own pleasure or whatever, and then he (or his parents?) gave her $1,000 to pay the phone bill. International calls from countries we shouldn’t have invaded in the first place can be so expensive!
  4. Slanker secretly calls his company “Ensign, Inc.” Is that touching or what?
  5. Now Doug and Cynthia Hampton are both out of work and Ensign hates them. But maybe his parents will give them some more money anyway?

Even at his age, Ensign is going to be popular in prison.

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